{"id":666,"date":"2025-04-10T10:28:56","date_gmt":"2025-04-10T15:28:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cmitsolutions.com\/philadelphia-pa-1200\/?p=666"},"modified":"2025-04-28T05:17:08","modified_gmt":"2025-04-28T10:17:08","slug":"leadership","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cmitsolutions.com\/philadelphia-pa-1200\/blog\/leadership\/","title":{"rendered":"What they don\u2019t teach you in B-school about leadership (but should)"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you\u2019ve ever sat through a \u201cLeadership 101\u201d workshop where someone told you to \u201cbe more visionary\u201d or \u201cjust communicate better,\u201d I feel your pain. Leadership advice is everywhere, but most of it either feels wildly theoretical or assumes you\u2019re secretly a Marvel superhero.<\/span><\/p>\n

I recently gave a talk to a group of university seniors on the topic of leadership \u2014 specifically, the so-called “soft skills.” The kind that doesn\u2019t usually get taught in textbooks. As someone who has led teams, advised CEOs, and occasionally failed in full view of my employees, I\u2019ve learned a few lessons about soft leadership skills that might be worth sharing with fellow business owners.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, here\u2019s my real-world, coffee-stained, slightly battle-worn take on leadership.<\/span><\/p>\n

Myths We Tell Ourselves About Leaders<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

Let\u2019s start by knocking a few myths off their pedestals:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLeaders have superhuman vision.\u201d<\/strong> No. Most of us have bifocals and a to-do list that\u2019s eating itself.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLeaders must be charismatic.\u201d<\/strong> I\u2019ve met wildly successful leaders who couldn\u2019t sell Girl Scout cookies to their own grandmother. What they lacked in pizzazz, they made up for in reliability and trust.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLeaders are born, not made.\u201d<\/strong> I used to think so. Then I remembered how awkward and clueless I was when I started. It turns out that leadership is a skill set, like cooking or parallel parking. You just have to be willing to mess up a few times.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLeaders never fail.\u201d<\/strong> If you\u2019re not failing occasionally, you\u2019re probably not trying anything new. I\u2019ve had some spectacular flops, and every one of them taught me something valuable (usually after a few sleepless nights).<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLeaders have all the answers.\u201d<\/strong> Spoiler alert: we don\u2019t. But we do<\/em> know how to ask good questions and surround ourselves with people who are smarter than we are.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLeaders are always in control.\u201d<\/strong> I once thought that too, right up until my entire presentation disappeared 10 minutes before a crucial client pitch. Great leaders don\u2019t cling to control; they focus on influence.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s only one way to lead.\u201d<\/strong> I used to try mimicking \u201csuccessful\u201d leaders I admired. It never quite worked. Turns out, you can\u2019t fake leadership. You have to find your own version that works for you\u2014and your team.<\/span><\/p>\n

Integrity: The Non-Negotiable<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

Jack Welch once said, \u201cIf you don\u2019t have integrity, nothing else matters.\u201d I hate to admit how many years it took me to understand that fully. Your people can dislike your style or disagree with your decisions, but they\u2019ll still follow you if they respect<\/em> you.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve worked with some technically brilliant leaders who couldn\u2019t hold onto a team because people didn\u2019t trust them. Meanwhile, I\u2019ve seen gritty, imperfect managers with high integrity inspire real loyalty.<\/span><\/p>\n

When it comes to leadership, integrity is your admission ticket. Without it, you\u2019re not even in the game.<\/span><\/p>\n

Leadership Isn\u2019t About You<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

One of the fastest ways to kill your company culture is to lead from ego. I tried it once. It\u2019s exhausting, unsustainable, and lonely.<\/span><\/p>\n

The best leadership is group-centered<\/em>, not self-centered. Your job is to create a vision the group can rally around, not to be the hero of your own business memoir.<\/span><\/p>\n

Simon Sinek\u2019s<\/a> phrase, \u201cleaders eat last,\u201d is so often repeated that it has become a bit of a clich\u00e9, but it\u2019s rooted in something true: When your team knows you\u2019ve got their back, they\u2019ll go through walls for you. (They\u2019ll also stay late without rolling their eyes.)<\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019re Probably Communicating Less Than You Think<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

Most of us assume we\u2019re communicating all the time, simply because we\u2019re talking. Not quite.<\/span><\/p>\n

Real communication is intentional. And it usually takes three steps \u2013 the same three steps Dale Carnegie started teaching in the mid-20th century:<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Tell them what you\u2019re going to tell them.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  2. Tell them.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  3. Tell them what you told them.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    I\u2019ve learned this the hard way, usually after someone comes to me days later and says, \u201cWait, we\u2019re doing what<\/em> now?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

    If that sounds familiar, you\u2019re in good company.<\/span><\/p>\n

    The other golden rule:<\/span> listen more than you talk<\/strong>. In fact, listen three times more. People will tell you what\u2019s wrong if you shut up long enough to hear them.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Vulnerability Isn\u2019t Weakness<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

    Confession: For years, I thought admitting I didn\u2019t know something would make me look incompetent. So I faked it.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Bad idea.<\/span><\/p>\n

    It turns out, saying \u201cI don\u2019t know, but I\u2019ll find out\u201d actually builds credibility because it\u2019s honest.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

    Being open about your strengths and<\/em> your weaknesses makes you more human. And approachable. And better at learning.<\/span><\/p>\n

    The best leaders I know are lifelong learners. They don\u2019t act like they\u2019ve arrived. They just keep showing up, listening, and improving. That\u2019s the kind of energy that makes a business thrive.<\/span><\/p>\n

    How to Earn Trust (Without a TED Talk)<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

    If you want people to trust you, don\u2019t start by telling them all about you. Start by letting them<\/em> talk.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Why? Because people bond more deeply with those they\u2019ve shared with<\/em>, not with those who overshare.<\/span><\/p>\n

    So ask real questions. Show genuine interest. This goes for clients, partners, and especially employees.<\/span><\/p>\n

    In management, emotional intelligence often beats raw IQ. Your people want to know you see<\/em> them\u2026 that you\u2019re not just chasing numbers, but they\u2019re part of the equation too.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Also: Be. Truthful. Every. Time. It\u2019s how you build long-term credibility. Even when it\u2019s hard, or awkward, or you\u2019d rather avoid it.<\/span><\/p>\n

    So\u2026 What Really Makes a Great Leader?<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

    It\u2019s not technique. It\u2019s not charisma. And it\u2019s definitely not having the best LinkedIn bio.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Great leadership comes down to character. To who you are when no one\u2019s watching. To how you show up for your team when things are messy. To how you listen, admit fault, and quietly keep learning.<\/span><\/p>\n

    The tools of leadership can be taught. But the truth<\/em> of leadership? That part has to come from you.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Final Thought<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

    If all this sounds daunting, good. That means you care. And if you care, you\u2019re already halfway there.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Now, go lead. Your way. Just don\u2019t forget to listen, be honest, and occasionally admit when you have no idea what the heck is going on.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Trust me \u2013 we\u2019ve all been there. And we\u2019ll probably all be there again.<\/span><\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    Pictured: Me with a captive audience at William & Mary College, Williamsburg, VA.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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